Gods and a Devil
The First Temple
This will be the first session where the characters meet up. This shall be fun! (If only for the fact that we can all laugh at my fail DM skill over skype. wewt.)
The party met at a temple of the Wyvern god of life, community and parenthood, Jazirian. 4 of them were on a contract to be paid by Shio’s lord from the Order of the Wolf. The warforged, on the other hand, was just bored and seeing what the hell was up.
On entering the temple, they heard sounds of fighting in the hallway beyond. Upon further investigation they saw a paladin and a druid fighting a 14-foot tall fire elemental and three small fire elementals. The party decided to help the paladin and the druid by killing the poor, poor elementals. (Totally should have let the paladin die! ….Just because he is a paladin)
Upon dying, the large elemental screamed “BLOODFIRE!” and a bunch of random gobbledy-goop ignan crap. But the party at least understood “Bloodfire.”
They then searched the temple and found a room with two sarcophagi inside. Being more curious than smart, the warforged decided that busting one of the tombs open was the best idea. This is when the party heard deep moaning and creaking sounds coming from the sarcophagus.
As they see the couatl skeleton rise from his grave, they slowly back up. The skeleton asks what exactly they are doing breaking his tomb for no reason. The samurai responds by telling the skeleton they are here to help with the situation. The skeleton knew almost instantly what he was talking about, for he could not reach through to his domains or contact his god as he had when he was alive.
Somehow feeling that this samurai and the party were really there just to help and for no other reason, the wyvern-skeleton agrees to go with the party to figure out the problem. It might be a good time to mention that apparently this skeleton is intelligent. ahem I mean… this skeleton is intelligent! Why? We don’t exactly know yet…
After finding (and mostly looting) the temples treasury room (Against the paladin’s objections.. what assholes!) they continue on to Minthorn to report their findings. Before they even make it to the temple…. actually more like 10 feet in front of the temple… they find a couple of nearly naked merchants who had a baby Green dragon next to them. And of course what did they instantly do? Yeah, that’s right… attempt to acquire said dragon… these guys are just so greedy for more party members…
After a while of negotiating with this couple, who apparently spent their life savings on the dragon and have almost nothing left to their name, the party quickly realizes they do not have the money to buy this dragon. The couple was asking over 4500 gold for it, after all. So they decide to go to the temple, where they meet the Queen of Minthorn and get their money for a job (pretty poorly…) done.
Going back to the merchants with nothing but smiles and glee (supposedly) they attempt yet again to talk down the merchants. They then tried a few rounds of intimidating the poor folk. They were doing anything they could just to acquire this baby dragon from the poor poor merchants. Finally get the goody-two-shoes paladin to agree that the dragon might be dangerous to the city after all. Hearing the conversation, the Queen comes out of the temple and offers the merchants a home in the suburbs of Minthorn if they just get rid of the dragon.
The merchants finally agree to a 2000 gold price in addition to an apparently “VERY” rare amethyst (AKA an amethyst they somehow get the merchants to believe is ultra-rare. what?)
Between the warforged and the samurai, the price is paid and the dragon is exchanged. Amazingly using their brains for once, the adventurers realize they have not one, but a whole THREE people who speak draconic, which is what the cute little ball of hatred, death, and eventually showers of acid just so happened to speak.
They ask the dragon if it has a name, and it responds (in a somewhat female voice… sometimes it’s hard to tell with young dragons, y’know?) that her name is Tiosha Ith Jahk. This came as a surprise to the one and only Ulubad Vu Jahk, the ninja who thought he was alone in the world.
Ulubad was not the only one to recognize the name, however. The warforged, Zimphf, had heard of the name in its many long years of traveling the world, though couldn’t quite recall all of the information. It did remember the library that they passed on the way in to the city, and so that is where it went off to. The warforged would spend all night researching in the library for this dragon.
The dragon tells him that her father left when she was much younger, and never came back. She asks in that cute, very sad puppy-dragon way if the adventurers had found her father, to which they regret to say no, they have not found a massive dragon eating and causing trouble in various countrysides and nomming on people. And trees. Green dragons apparently like trees.
This is when the green dragon wyrmling starts to whine for food, which the warforge promptly gives to her before it left for the library. She thanks the party before climbing on to the samurai and curling up to sleep.
And finally, after all was done, or so we thought, the ninja attempted to out-sneak a cat in the most epic of ways. As the ninja ghost-stepped and turned invisible to pad away from the prying eyes of the paladin, Ulubad slowly drew his knives. He savored the moment as he stared at the cat without a hint that he had been detected. Silently cackling to himself, he raised his daggers, and with an unseen glint in his eye, he forced his daggers down as fast as he could, driving the points deep…. deep into the ground. Yes that’s right, he missed a tiny little kitten. This ninja, probably pretty well known in some town or city prior… got beaten by a cat that couldn’t even see him.
When I said epic, I of course meant epic FAIL. And as the cat slowly slinks off to sleep in a corner, never knowing of the threat it faced just moments before…. so shall we meander on into bed, never forgetting the amount of FAIL that has happened here tonight. This is the lesson of today’s adventure. Good Night,and see you next time!
PS I hope I get better at this DM thing, it gets confusing especially over skype and on roll20. At least I can rely on my quick wit and eloquent writing style to get me through the day. You see, for those who were not here on this day to see, hear, and bear witness to the epic amounts of fail that my DM was… Well I salute you, and let it be known that you probably don’t ever want to know how it REALLY went. My writing might be pretty bad, but multiply that by 600 times and add a few “confusing-as-fucks” in there, and you got yourself a right mess, you see…